Sal the Stockbrocker (previous member of a Wack Few, he accomplished the uncommon effort of graduating to an actual, paid member of the indicate crew & is no yearn considered a Wack Packer.)
Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice (born June 2, 1968 in Browns Mills, New Jersey) is the stage name of Lester Green. He suffers from either microcephaly, an abnormally small head & brain. Within his pack, this is accompanied by subnormality & little stature (Little joe' Trinity"), though he does not have the disproportionate limb size associated with dwarfism. Beetlejuice had a running bitter feud with Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, but cried profusely upon learning of his death - calling him "the friend."
The name Beetlejuice comes from a scene in the movie Beetlejuice in which a person appeared with a shrunken head. He is best known for his appearances on The Howard Stern Show and is arguably the most popular member of The Wack Pack. He has also appeared in a few films, including Scary Movie 2 and Bubble Boy. Beetlejuice also provided guest vocals on Smut Peddlers' album, Porn Again. He is the lyricist for the song "This is Beetle" which he recorded with Stern show staffer Richard Christy. Staind and Blues Traveler have both covered this song. Staind plans to include their version on their next album. A Copy of the song can be found here - [http://www.theapu.com/beet/]
Microcephalics, also known as "pinheads" (offensive) have been featured in movies as early as 1932 (Freaks).
Captain Janks
Thomas Cipriano, better known as Captain Janks, is notorious for crank calling publicly aired radio and television programs. He takes his nickname from the actual rank and name of his commanding officer in Vietnam. Among his better known "cranks" are claiming he was Coast Guard Lt. Ed Gaynor upon the disappearance of John Kennedy Jr.'s plane, MSNBC's Soledad O'Brien, and CBS's Dan Rather whom he pranked following the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster in 2003. He also pranked ESPN Sportscenter's Dan Patrick in an "interview" in October 2003 under the guise of Steve Bartman, the Chicago Cubs fan whose interference with a foul popup is argued to have been the reason that the Cubs did not make it to the World Series. Cipriano works as an attendant at a gasoline station in North Wales, PA.
Daniel Carver
Daniel Carver (born 1948) is a Kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan, an infantryman during Vietnam and a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show. He has also appeared on Stern's TV syndicated television show and Butt Bongo Fiesta, as well as a guest appearance on the Phil Donahue Show. Carver is considered to be a member of the Stern Show's Wack Pack. Daniel is well known for his phrase "waken white race" and his white supremacist views which he records on his answering machine. While Carver appears to take himself seriously, he is used by Stern as the butt of jokes, of which he seems to willingly play along. He used to do Stern's movie reviews by rating each film with a burning cross. He now considers homosexuals to be the lowest form of human existence followed by blacks, then Jews. He lives in Oakwood, Georgia. In 2003 Carver won $20,000 in a Stern-sponsered football contest, in which he competed against Artie Lange, Gary the Retard, and a chicken. In 2005 Carver again won money from the Stern show ($10,000) by participating in a bit called 'Wack Pack Family Fued'. Carver along with his wife and son, beat out Wendy the Retard and her family for the prize.
Elephant Boy
Fred "Elephant Son" Schieber is best known for his severe speech impediment, poor personal hygiene, and his homosexual experimentation. He works as an accountant in New York City.
Elliot Offen
One of the older members of The Wack Pack, "Elegant" Elliot Offen is a flamboyant drag queen. He will often appear on the show yelling over his "sound modus vivendi", which consists of eating only raw fruits and vegtables and running 20 miles a day in women's lingerie. Due to the fact that he does wear women's clothing it is believed that he is a homosexual. To try to disclaim these allegations he has gone to the measures of coming to the show ranting that he is a heterosexual to even hiring actresses to pretend to be his girlfriend. Howard was able to find out that Offen had hired a women to pose as a girlfriend when he was forcing them to kiss. Whether or not Offen sticks to the diet he claims to be on is a mystery becuase he doesn't look healthy for someone running 20 miles a day.
Eric the Midget
Eric "A Midget" Lynch is a frequent caller of the Howard Stern Radio Show, often complaining about Stern's attitude toward female pop artists and the fact that they call him a "dwarf." Eric is well known for his obsession with American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson which spawned a frequently played prank phone call where fellow Wack Pack member High Pitch Erik called Lynch pretending to be "Kelly Clarkson". Stern helped Lynch land a guest starring role on his favorite television show, American Dreams, and is still ungrateful. Lynch's phone calls to the show are often incoherent because of his small lungs which prevent him from completing a sentence without taking 4 or 5 breaths.
Gary the Retard
Gary The Retard (born 1952 in Albany, Oregon) is a frequent guest on The Howard Stern Radio Show and is a member of The Wack Pack. He suffers from mental retardation. His toothless grin, coke bottle thick glasses and cheerful attitude make him a favorite
Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf
Henry Joseph Nasiff Jr. (April 20, 1962–September 4, 2001), better known as Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, appeared numerous times on the Howard Stern Radio Show beginning on August 16, 1996 when he entered the studio of radio station WXRK (K-Rock) in New York City. As his nickname suggests, he was invariably inebriated and had a sharp tongue towards anyone who annoyed him. He had to be reminded constantly not to curse over the airwaves, but would often be remiss due to his drunken stupor. He was born and lived in Fall River, Massachusetts.
Nasiff was only 4ft 1in (124 cm) tall, and weighed 95lbs (43 kg).
In 1998, People magazine ran an online poll to determine the most beautiful people in the world. Somebody facetiously entered Hank as a write-in candidate. Word got out, and Hank won the contest, receiving hundreds of thousands of votes. At the time the online poll was launched, People led voters to believe that it would influence the print magazine listing of "most beautiful population". People later retreated, and refused to allow online votes to influence the magazine results.
Hank had a brief acting career, with parts ranging from God (Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger Part 4) to Mini-Devil (Bikini Bandits Go To Hell).
Hank was a member of The Wack Pack and parlayed his Stern show exposure into personal appearances all over the country, mostly strip clubs and bachelor parties, where he would, invariably, get drunk and insult party-goers, much to their delight. Hank's success waned once Beetlejuice emerged on the scene and became more sought after by club owners. This led to a rivalry between the two which culminated in several on-air confrontations.
In November 2000, Hank suffered a seizure while making an appearance for J&B scotch at a bar in Los Angeles. Hank was found dead in his home in Fall River on September 4, 2001. Howard, cast and crew, wack pack, and fans were in deep mourning until interupted by the September 11, 2001 attacks. Medical experts suggest that what led to his death was a combination of cirrhosis of the liver and internal organ compression due to his stunted height. The same condition afflicted another famous small actor, Herve Villechaize. According to his death certificate, he died of a seizure disorder. Other significant conditions contributing to his death were ethanol abuse and chondrodystrophy.
High Pitch Erik
Erik Bleaman, better known as High Pitch Erik, lives in Rego Park, Queens and is a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show and a prominent member of The Wack Pack. Bleaman received the name High Pitch because of his natural falsetto speaking voice, which he uses for comedic effect, including prank calls for the show. Often ridiculed for his obesity, Bleaman put his size to work and won a role in ''The World's First 300lb. Gang Bang, a pornographic film in which all the male participants weighed in excess of 300 pounds. While appearing in another porno, Dynamte's 21st Birthday Gang Bang, he had difficulty acquiring an erection. Bleaman suffers from hyperhidrosis, a condition that causes his hands to sweat profusely. He works at a Toyota dealership in Manhattan.
Jeff the Drunk
Jeff Curro, better known as Jeff "a Drunk" Curro, is a well known member of The Wack Pack on the Howard Stern Radio Show. He currently lives in a trailer outside Albany, New York with his mother. He does not work on a regular basis except for seasonal work stamping hands at a local pool. His income is supplemented through SSI.
Curro has been known to constantly abuse cigarettes, alcohol, and marijuana. In early 2005, he began taking bong hits on the air (calling on the phone from home). The resulting coughing and hacking has become a hilarious soundbite used frequently on the show.
Curro became a show regular after winning anal sex with adult film star Tabitha Stevens, gaining notoriety for his inability to become aroused due to inebriation.
Jeff the Vomit Guy
Jeff Levy, better known as Jeff the Vomit Guy, has appeared on the Howard Stern Radio Show to express his love of emetophilia, a vomit fetish. He is a former postal worker who now receives SSI. While on the show, women, including porn star Kendra Jade, have vomited on Levy; referred to as a Roman Shower. Because of the difficulty finding willing participants for his fetish, Levy usually resorts to paying prostitutes. Levy has stated he feels this practice is normal and people who do not enjoy this fetish are abnormal. Levy has also been a guest on the Jerry Springer Show and has been featured in Hustler magazine.
John the Stutterer
John the Stutterer, not to be confused with Stuttering John, first appeared on the Howard Stern Radio Show as a contestant on a dating game with the Dahm Triplets. He won the contest and has been a member of The Wack Pack'' ever since due to his severe stuttering and nervousness. John is unemployed and relies on SSI because of his stuttering problem. In 2004 he had several on-air fights with Yucko the Clown, who called John a "stuttering prick", while John accused Yucko of being a child molestor. Howard often invites John on the show as a judge or a guest because his stuttering and shaking are incredibly bad. Like the late wack packer Hank the Dwarf, he is a master off classic rock trivia. While he's on the show, sound effects board man Fred Norris always attempts to make John stutter more by doing an impression of him while he's speaking. John also suffers from many psychological problems such as obsessive compulsive disorder and depression. At one point, it was intimated that the stuttering may be a side-effect of the pharmecuticals he takes.
Nicole Bass
Nicole Bass (born 1964 in Morristown, New Jersey) is female bodybuilder. She looks like a male transexual, but is really a woman. She underwent DNA testing at one point on the show, which proved her to be female. Fred Norris often makes fun of her voice by speaking like Herman Munster.
Wendy the Retard
Wendy the Retard lives in Orlando, Florida and is a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show and is a member of The Wack Pack. She suffers from mental retardation like fellow "Wack Packer" Gary the Retard.
As part of her routine, she answers "Yes" to whatever questions Howard asks, no matter how outrageous, insulting or sexual.
Yucko the Clown
Roger Black, better known as Yucko the Clown, is a foul mouthed, insult comedian who dresses up like a clown. Black is a street performer who has been the runner up in two of Stern's contests; losing to the Reverend Bob Levy in the "Globe's Meanest Listener" contest and losing to Richard Christy in the "Win John's Job" contest. No person is safe from his dirty clown jokes as he will insult anyone based on their physical appearance, religious belief, or anything that can be made into a joke. One thing that really ticks him off is mentioning the time when he was a homless person. Black often wears clown makeup, including the signature red clown nose, which he'll "honk" whenever he insults someone on the show. While still part of the show, Black was the star of a sketch comedy show titled Stankervision which aired on MTV2, but was not renewed for a second season.
Memorable Quotes
Daniel Carver
"Waken, White People"
Beetlejuice
"World health organization, maine?"
"This is Beetle. He's when badness when might & he knows.....he's a best"
Elephant Boy
"We condemn that you. Baba Booey to everthing of we!" (speaking at a Libertarian Party convention)
Eric the Midget
"Hullo, Gary."
Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf
"Last do it by owning Jesus Christ, we faggot!"
"Last & have a go at it using your systems mother!"
Ted the Janitor
"Fantabulous!"
High Pitch Erik
"Hi Mommy; copine tree state that you pleased me?"
"We'm non gay."
"Dada's girl's been the bad girl."
"World health organization's High Pitch? This is Kelly Clarkson"
"How-do-you-do hello"
Jeff the Drunk
"Niiiice!"
"We little bitch!"
John the Stutterer
"I personally...We...I personally...I personally..."
"Smart shoppers...professional people...that you...busy people..."
Wendy the Retard
"I personally sense rather blowing our mind higher!"
"Person rape pine tree state for call out loudly!"
Gary the Retard
"I personally'm retarded we jerk!"
"Shoo shoo retarded influenza!"
